Enter the Sandman! BONK!

"You Scouts are gonna love this highly collectible bat that smacks baseballs at the other team, stunning the living crap outta anybody dumb, slow, drunk, mute or Australian enough to get in the way. The farther the ball flies before ricocheting offa some chucklehead's skull, the longer he's gonna be stunned. And guys who think they're tough because they're invulnerable? It works on them too. Now the bad news: You can't double jump when you're carrying this little beauty. On the other hand, double jumping never put anybody in a coma."

Credit from informing us goes to NDH member StinkyCheese. Thanks for keeping the Hero Bulletin writers updated, mate!